It's Always Been You
by blueXstar
Summary: [FF Slash] Hermione realizes she's never loved him, she's always loved her. Oneshot.


**It's a fluff-coming-into-her-own story. I like it. Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy. **

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Hermione is a good girlfriend, or atleast she tries to be. During the day, after studies, she's with Ron. They hold hands, they cuddle in the common room when Hermione isn't busy pouring over her homework. She comforts him when he's had a long day, or a run in with Snape. He tells him how unreasonable he is when it comes to Percy,"After all Ron, he's still apart of your family." She always says.

The one thing she cannot stand, truly despises, is at night, when Ron leans in to kiss her. She backs up as far as she can, and prays she's out of reach of his finger tips, and his lips. It's never far enough though. He never seems to notice her apprehension. Never notices that she's up against a wall most of the time when he goes to kiss her. He dives right in, and slips in the tongue and she tries to go to another place.

After he's done, she makes her way up to the dorms and climbs into bed, pulling the covers tight around her body. Sometimes, she cries herself to sleep at night. Always into her pillow of course so she doesn't have to disturb her dorm mates. If one of them woke up, they'd ask what he problem was, and then she'd have to confess that she wasn't in love with Ron, she only loved Ron like a brother and even then she had problems.

She remembers back to the time she realized that something was wrong and that her relationship with Ron was going nowhere. They had found themselves in an empty classroom one even when he decided to join her on her Prefect rounds. Before too long, Ron had her shoved up against the wall. He was clumsily kissing her neck and hands were everywhere. Hermione just wanted to get away, and get away fast. Thankfully, he gave her a reason. A clammy hand slid underneath her shirt and she quickly pushed him away to adjust herself. "No, Ron."

"Hermione?" He asked dumbfounded. She hated that tone.

"I may love you,"she said stumbling over her words,"but I'm not going to do that with you. Not yet." She stormed out of the room, finished her rounds and headed up to the dorms to think things through.

That night, after a mostly sleepless one, she realized that what she felt for Ron wasn't real. It was how she felt she needed to be. She felt she needed to be the perfect girlfriend, she felt she had to be in love with a man, she felt that was the only way she'd be perfect. Hermione Granger was always pushed to be perfect.

Gradually, she realized that she could make herself comfortable when Ron was kissing and touching her. Just think about Ginny. It happened by accident really. Ron had leaned in for the kill, and Hermione just tried to go blank, but her mind wandered back to Ginny and how she ran around half naked in her presence asking for her opinions on her clothing. Something about her made her feel warm, fuzzy and comfortable. Staring at Ginny felt _right._ So, her mind went automatically to Ginny. Eventually, she felt as if it were Ginny who had her against the wall, Ginny's lips that were against her's, whispering against them so lightly, it was her hands that were touching her bare skin, and her arms that were holding her tight.

Suddenly, she began to cry. Being with Ron was wrong, all wrong. She pushed him away,"I can't do this anymore, Ron. I can't. I'm lying to you, I'm lying to everyone, but most of all, I'm lying to myself."

"Hermione, what are you talking about?" He asked trying to comprehend everything.

"Ron, I don't love you." She shook her head,"I'm not in love with you. Every day it's the same thing, it's all a lie. Can't you see that? I like girls!" she shouted, and that felt good. She liked girls. She wanted to shout it from the roof tops.

Ron stood, still staring at her,"I-I." He couldn't speak, and she liked that. She hated when he spoke, hated everything about him at the moment.

"It's over. I can't do this anymore." She ran from the room, away from Ron and away from her lies. When she reached her dorm room, it was empty, save for the long figure on her bed. "Ginny?" She asked approaching slowly.

"How was your night with Ron?" She asked crestfallen.

Hermione laughed,"It's never been right with Ron, never." She laughed again and took a seat beside her on the bed,"It's never been him I've been in love with." She said, not sure where she was going with this.

Ginny looked up, for the first time, Hermione noticed the tears in her voice,"Oh really?" she paushed and fiddle with her fingers for a bit,"Then who is it?"

"You, Ginny. It's always been you."


End file.
